YOU’VE BEEN FEELING STRESSED for days with no break in sight. Some nights you wake up at 4 a.m. and can’t get back to sleep. You’ve been reaching for a drink as soon as you get home from work.

What’s going on?

“Admitting that something is wrong and getting help doesn’t mean you’ve failed or are weak,” says Robert E. Hales, M.D., the Joe P. Tupin professor and chair of the department of psychiatry at the University of California, Davis, and coauthor of Caring for the Mind: The Comprehensive Guide to Mental Health. “The key question to ask yourself is not, ‘Am I mentally ill?’ but ‘Could I use some help right now?’ ”

The truth is, if the stresses and strains of life have pushed you to your limits, you’re not alone. A survey of more than 8,000 people between ages 15 and 54 found 48 percent had experienced a mental disorder — depression, alcohol abuse or anxiety — at some point in their lives.

And, just as you would talk to a medical doctor instead of a friend or family member if you had a broken bone, it makes sense to see a mental health professional if you need help with your behavior, thoughts or feelings.

Mental Disorders
No one’s life is problem-free, and on any given day you may feel angry, blue or in a panic. But what distinguishes mental disorders from problems of daily living is their severity or persistence over time.

People with mental or emotional disorders often:

• Feel depressed or sad for several weeks or more
• Think about or attempt suicide
• Experience extreme mood swings
• Feel helpless or hopeless
• Feel that life is out of control
• Have sudden feelings of panic
• Drink excessively or use illegal drugs
• Are unable to stop destructive behavior, such as gambling
• See, hear or experience imaginary things
• Threaten violence or become aggressive and violent

If you have any of the symptoms of mental illness, call your doctor or a mental health professional.

Everyday Problems
It’s just as important to get help if stress, grief, marital or other family problems are getting in the way of your happiness and emotional stability.

“People generally seek help for three reasons,” says Hales. “They notice a significant shift in how they feel about themselves; they become aware of ongoing difficulties in their close personal relationships; or they have chronic problems getting along with people at work.”

Ask yourself the following questions:

• Have I been feeling less happy, less confident or less in control than usual for a period of several weeks or longer?
• Are emotional problems getting in the way of my work, relationships or other aspects of my life?
• Have my own efforts to deal with a problem failed to resolve the situation?
• Do I feel emotionally “stuck” and helpless to change my behavior or circumstances?

If you answer “yes” to one or more of these questions, seek help from a psychiatrist, psychologist or therapist.

A Better Life
Therapy can be a tool for change and a source of support when you need it most. Your treatment may require medication and talk therapy.

“As you work toward recovery, you can learn more gratifying ways of living and behaving,” says Hales. “As you regain a sense of being in control, you’ll discover you do have options and the ability to make competent choices.”

Barbara Floria spoke with Robert E. Hales, M.D., the Joe P. Tupin professor and chair of the department of psychiatry at the University of California, Davis, and coauthor of Caring for the Mind: The Comprehensive Guide to Mental Health, Bantam Books, 1996, $25.95. For more information or a referral, visit the Web site for the American Psychiatric Association at www.psych.org.

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