Holding yourself to high standards of behavior and performance is a key to success. However, this personality trait can go too far.

If you often feel like you put unreasonable demands on yourself and others, or that mistakes are totally unacceptable at work or in your personal life, you could be suffering from perfectionism.

“High standards are necessary if you want to achieve any degree of success, but there’s a difference between wanting to do your best and feeling like a failure if your efforts fall short of an unrealistic ideal,” says Martin Antony, Ph.D., director of the graduate program of psychology at Ryerson University in Toronto and author of When Perfect Isn’t Good Enough. “However, because our society rewards people for perfect achievement—in sports, at work, and at school—perfectionists fail to see their behavior as having a downside.”

Answers to common questions regarding this trait can help you understand its negative aspects.

What is perfectionism?

Perfectionism is a personality trait. It’s often linked with mental health disorders, including depression, social anxiety, and obsessivecompulsive disorder. Several factors probably cause it, including genetic makeup, family pressures, and upbringing. For example, perfectionists may have had parents who put a high priority on having perfect manners, appearance, and school achievement.

Some beliefs often held by perfectionists include:

• I must always be perfect in what I say and do.
• It’s unacceptable to make mistakes.
• If I can’t do something perfectly, I shouldn’t bother trying.
• There’s a right way and a wrong way to do things.
• It’s what I achieve rather than who I am that’s important.

What are the negative consequences of perfectionism?

“People are affected by perfectionism in different degrees and in different areas of their lives,” Antony explains. “It requires attention when it interferes with your ability to live and enjoy a normal life.”

Some of the consequences include:

• Low self-esteem. Because perfectionists never feel they’re good enough, they often feel like losers.
• Depression. Because they often fail to live up to self-imposed impossible standards, perfectionists have a tendency to become depressed.
• Rigidity. Perfectionists often need everything to be done a certain way.
• Compulsive behavior. Perfectionists can develop compulsive behaviors in an effort to maintain order in their surroundings.
• Harsh self-criticism. Perfectionists often look for mistakes and imperfections in their and their coworkers’ work and have trouble seeing value in a project that deviates from an established norm.
• Procrastination. Perfectionists who fear failure can become immobilized.

Can perfectionism be overcome?

Perfectionism can be treated with cognitive strategies that help the person challenge and change his or her beliefs regarding the importance of perfect behavior and results.

“To overcome perfectionism, one needs to accept oneself and others as fallible people who aren’t lesser beings because they make mistakes or fail to achieve greatness in everything they do,” Antony explains. “It can take time and effort to turn perfectionism around, but doing so will help you live a fuller, less judgmental, less torturous life.”

Barbara Floria spoke with Martin Antony, Ph.D., director of the graduate program of psychology at Ryerson University in Toronto and author of When Perfect Isn’t Good Enough, New Harbinger, 2009, $17.95.

© StayWell Custom Communications. Information is the opinion of the sourced authors and organizations. Personal decisions regarding health, diet, and exercise should be made only after consultation with the reader's own medical advisers. This material may not be reproduced for redistribution without written permission from StayWell Custom Communications.