Couples in crisis can feel alone and without recourse. Fortunately, marriage counseling or couples therapy can help besieged marriages find balance.

No matter how much two people love each other, problems and crises can arise in any relationship that neither individual nor their combined will and wisdom can successfully resolve.

Fortunately, credentialed mental health professionals are trained to help couples heal pain, rebuild trust, and improve stalled communication.

With the U.S. divorce rate hovering around 45 percent, it’s clear many marriages are in trouble. However, research shows couples who seek couples therapy increase their chance of staying together and improving communication and satisfaction in their relationship.

The following answers to questions about couples therapy may help you decide to seek help.

What is couples therapy?
Couples therapy is shortterm counseling provided by licensed therapists trained to help couples resolve conflicts.

An effective therapist helps couples understand their problems and teaches them tools that can help them work out disagreements and negotiate solutions to differences.

When can it help?
Common issues marriage counselors are trained to help with include communication problems, conflicts about child rearing, infidelity, substance abuse, stepparenting, incompatible expectations, and sexual difficulties.

Couples are likely to receive the least benefit from therapy if they wait too long before seeking help, or if one partner is set on getting a divorce and not interested in saving the marriage.

How does couples therapy work?
Different therapists have different approaches to counseling, but in most cases the therapist will encourage each partner to respond to questions about the relationship’s difficulties honestly and fairly. The therapist acts as a mediator or referee, guiding the participants to an understanding of each other’s feelings or positions and modeling respect and acceptance. Marriage counselors shouldn’t take sides, but should remain neutral and open to assisting both individuals.

Honesty and a willingness to bring deep-seated resentments and disappointments to the surface are often the keys to healing.

What if one partner refuses to attend marriage counseling?
Couples therapy is most effective when both people in the relationship attend the counseling sessions, but if one partner refuses to participate, the relationship may still benefit if the other person learns better communication skills and puts them to use.

How do you choose a couples therapist?
Look for a marriage counselor who’s a licensed mental health professional. Psychiatrists, psychologists, clinical social workers, as well as counselors specifically designated as licensed marriage and family therapists (L.M.F.T.) and those who are credentialed by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy provide couples therapy.

There are no guarantees couples therapy will save or improve a relationship. However, many couples find the presence and suggestions of an impartial, experienced counselor can clarify issues they couldn’t resolve on their own.

By Barbara Floria, the editor of Vitality. For more information, visit the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy Web site at www.aamft.org.

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