Grieving over the loss of a loved one is natural, but about 15 percent of people who lose someone can't move on with life because of severe or complicated grief.

When someone you love passes away, it's normal to feel pain, shock, anger, or guilt.

In the depths of your sadness, you may feel as if it will never go away. Yet such feelings are part of the grieving process. Accepting them, over time, is often the key to healing.

For most people, grief and the pain of their loss eventually fade into the background. However, people who suffer from so-called complicated grief find themselves unable to move on. They become mired in grief that dominates their lives.

In this sort of grief, different factors interfere with the normal healing process. These factors vary, but they could relate to the nature of the relationship the person had with the deceased, the mental health of the grieving person, circumstances surrounding the person's death, and even events that took place after the person passed away.

A complicated reaction is more likely after a death that was sudden, violent, unexpected, or premature. Bereaved people are also prone to problems if they're unable to shake thoughts about how they or someone else could have prevented the death.

Even if the person died without trauma, some people with a history of depression, anxiety, personality disorders, or trouble dealing with loss are more likely to have a complicated response.

Learning about complicated grief (also known as unresolved or traumatic grief) may help you seek treatment for yourself or a loved one.

Recognizing Complicated Grief
People dealing with complicated grief often feel cut off from family and friends. They can find it hard to function.

They could be suffering from the condition if they have more than three of the following symptoms for more than six months after a loved one's death:

• Strong longing for the person who died
• Feeling intensely lonely even when they're with other people
• Strong anger related to the death
• Feeling life is empty or meaningless without the person
• Disruption of relationships with other people because they're thinking so much about the deceased
• Finding it hard to accept the death
• Feeling shocked, stunned, or emotionally numb
• Having difficulty caring about or trusting other people
• A strong physical or emotional reaction to reminders of the loss
• Avoiding people, places, or things that remind them of the loss
• Having strong urges to see, touch, hear, or smell things that remind them of the deceased

Treatment
People with complicated grief often benefit from more complex therapies than those with uncomplicated grief. Treatment seeks to relieve their traumatic symptoms and help them engage again with the world.

In therapy, people may be encouraged to tell the story of the death over and over to confront thoughts and situations they may have been avoiding. They explore lingering regrets or resentments. They may be prompted to have imaginary conversations with the deceased and work to find ways to enjoy activities rather than focusing on loss.

If you or someone you know could be dealing with complicated grief, seek help from a mental health professional. Competent treatment is important because people with this condition have an increased risk for suicide.

By Barbara Floria, senior writer for Vitality. For more information, visit the Complicated Grief Program at www.complicatedgrief.org.

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