When your youngest child leaves home, the sounds of silence can be deafening. Although adjusting can challenge some couples, others end up enjoying their newfound freedom.

Whether your last child is leaving home for college, the military, marriage, or a distant job, the empty nest that remains behind can be a tight spot for some couples or a place of renewal for others. You can prepare for this rite of passage. Understanding the feelings and challenges it presents can help you and your partner ease the transition.

A Mixed Blessing
In most families, the empty nest syndrome begins during the child's high school years as he or she begins spending more time away from home with friends, sports, or summer jobs. Parents can anticipate the loss they'll feel when the child leaves home for good.

Some parents--especially those whose relationship revolves more around their children than their marriage or themselves--can find the transition to an empty house more challenging. For those who may have been overly close to their children, this stage of life can feel frightening, sad, and empty.

Still, a study published in the journal Psychological Science found many women who made the transition to an empty nest experienced an increase in marital satisfaction by increasing the quantity and quality of time they spend with their partners. Other research suggests that having an empty nest leads to more relaxed and enjoyable interaction between parents after the children leave.

Along with experiencing greater freedom, many parents report a heightened sense of pride and accomplishment as they see children start down their own path of successful adulthood. In addition, many parents find their relationships with their children improve when the stresses of the stormy teenage years are gone and their offspring are embracing maturity and independence.

Prepare for Change
The feelings you may have when your child leaves can't be predicted ahead of time. However, taking the following steps may help you cope with this new chapter of your life:

• Know what to expect. Count on more peace and quiet, for one thing. That could be a relief or an ongoing reminder that your child is gone.
• Expect changes in your marriage. With the pressures of child rearing largely in the past, many couples find they have different needs. Men and women are apt to deal with the empty nest in their own ways.
• Invest in yourself. Have you put off traveling, furthering your education, or pushing ahead with a career change or volunteer opportunities? Now is the time to move forward.
• Stay in contact with your child. Email, cellphones, and video-chat programs make it easier than ever to keep in touch with your children. Just be sure to support, not smother, your offspring.
• Make plans for the present and future. Your life isn't over when your kids are gone. It's just dramatically changed.

Hello Again
A strong case of empty nest syndrome can result in a grieving process. If you find yourself experiencing symptoms of depression, such as frequent crying, or spending most of your time alone, discuss your feelings with your doctor or a mental health professional.

Keep in mind that in recent years, it's not unusual for young people into their 30s to return to the nest after being away for school or work. Like millions of American parents, you might find yourself dealing with a full nest again in years to come.

By Barbara Floria, senior writer for Vitality. For more information, visit the American Psychological Association at www.apa.org.

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